slapmytitties:

What if instead of having sirens ambulances just played move bitch get out the way by ludacris

557,036 notes

everyoneisdeadnow:

if we go to a restaurant and have to choose between a table or a booth and you say table i will never trust you again

460,945 notes

hamsterangst:

WHENEVER I TOUCH CEILINGS I FEEL REALLY POWERFUL

375,067 notes

officialunitedstates:

bewbin:

officialunitedstates:

people who buy pitchforks:

  1. farmers
  2. 30% of everyone in a mob

cant forget giants who eat giant salads

3. giant vegetarians

19,762 notes

Come on, Groot, do it for the Vine.

Peter Quill after discovering the Internet. (via patrickat)

"Why would he do it for another vine? He has many vines."

 - Drax, upon hearing this conversation

(via thesylverlining)

26,807 notes

tungstens:

we all have a favorite eyebrow

(Source: fzur)

376,670 notes

beyoncescock:

seven billion people on this planet and i have 2 friends

462,634 notes

wonnderr-lusttt:

looow-tus:

undftdaniel:

defend-sissy-boy-emo:

jadelyn:

holypuckingcow:

abbysetcetera:

Adulthood doesn’t mean you stop drinking juice pouches and eating fruit snacks. It means buying your own. 

and mixing them with vodka

At 3 in the morning while marathoning your favorite show because nobody can tell you to go to bed.

And then regretting your decisions the next morning.

Because you have to work.

and make more money to buy fruit snacks and juice pouches.

and vodka

(Source: asexualarmin)

490,483 notes

I’m not above doing this.

(Source: College Humor)

220,881 notes

clitt:

its 2014 and still no fanfic could top this one

image

84,322 notes